A Cold Heart
by Holmes1216
Summary: Arthur has torn their friendship apart and Merlin has become cold. Can Arthur warm Merlin's cold heart? Or will Merlin stay angry forever? NO MERTHUR. DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything. At all
1. Chapter 1 Whipped

**This is for my best friend Lily Jefferies. Oh god! I'm becoming sentimental. Oh god...**

I couldn't believe Arthur was doing this to me. I guess it started when Lady Elizabeth's maid took a shine to me. To be honest I don't think I noticed until it was too late. She had conered me after a particularly boring feast. I was dropping Arthur's goblet off to the kitchen when she approached me

"Erm hi Merlin'' she had said. I grinned cheerfully at her and she must have taken this as a good sighn

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to come to the servants ball with me?'' she asked. I tried my best to politely refuse by saying

"I would but I can't...I'm er meeting a friend..." I guess that wasn't the best thing to have said. She stormed off after slapping me hard. Hurt like hell I can tell you. In the middle of the night I was dragged from my bed and taken to the court. I was forced to my knee's before Arthur

"What? Whats going on Arthur? I-I don't. What?'' I stuttered. I was in quite a bad state, my hair all over the place and eyes half shut.

"Merlin of Ealdor, you have been accused of torture." he said coldly. My eyes went wide

"WHAT?'' I shouted, Gwen was staring daggers at me and the maid was sobbing, her face a mess. However all of the evidence pointed to me, I fit the description, Sir Robert had seen me leaving at around the right time and the maid and I had just had a 'row'. So Arthur declared me guilty and sentenced me to Fifty lashes.

Fifty lashes

With the worst whip

Tomorrow

So I was hauled to the dungeons where the guards beat me and I spent a restless night trying to sleep on a hard stone floor while every part of my body was screaming. The next morning I was led out and tied to a post. I tried to ignore the bloodstains. Arthur raised his hand. And the whip came down. I looked strait at him the hole time, begging for him to realize I was innocent, for the pain to stop. But after the fifteenth lash I stopped begging for release I begged for death. To end the haze of blood and pain, to make it stop. So I wouldn't have to look up at Arthur's cold face. But it went on and on and still I stared into Arthur's eyes. He showed no mercy and watched without regret until the fiftieth lash fell. I went limp and fought to stay conscious as Gwaine rushed up to me. Arthur stopped him and I was left to hang for five hours

Five

I was dragged to the dungeons and beaten once again. Even Gaius wasn't allowed to see me. He left me in that cold cell for four months. And with nothing to do except hate Arthur and fall deeper into a pit of despair. Arthur had torn our friendship apart bit by bit an I was left to fall in the dust. Again. But this time was worse because we had always made up. This time though I got lost inside my mind and refused point blank to come out. After all I had done for him. After all of the times I was there for him. This is how he repays me? To sit in a dank cell with only pain and rats for company. As it turns out, the culprit was found. He also fit the description and the maid admitted that she had framed me. Arthur banished her and the man was executed the next day. The king himself came to release me. What a_ luxury_. Not. I couldn't bring myself to care. Not after the last four months. When they walked in I was huddled in my usual corner making rat's tap dance. I stopped as soon as I heard their footsteps. Wow, I still recognize Uthers- sorry _Arthur's_ footsteps. He crouched next to me but I didn't really notice. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder but I flinched and drew my legs closer to my chest. He sighed and tried to sit next to me. I used magic to make him slide away. I really didn't care about being caught. Not anymore. He sighed once more and said

"Merlin? Your released." I didn't recognize my own name anymore. I knew that he meant me but I couldn't bring myself to care about the emotions in his voice. I let out a laugh it was grated and it sounded wrong

"For something that I didn't do. Thank. You. Arthur." I said sarcastically. Arthur winced. Then I went back into my trance not really watching as I made things zoom around the cell, rats mostly. Then I heard Gwaine barge in. Out of all of them, he was the only one who had tried to sneak down to see me. He plonked down beside me and this time I didn't scoot away. I felt myself sag and my head leaned on his shoulder. Arthur scowled. Gwaine noticed

"Well, _sire_. If you had wanted his trust you would have made sure it was him before you _whipped him half to death!_'' he burst out. I just let my eyes glaze over as they argued. Gaius eventually shut them up but they still stared daggers at each other as Gwaine half carried me to Gaius' chambers. I was placed on my bed and treated by Gaius. Then Arthur asked to speak to me. Well he could speak _at_ me for all I care but I'll never answer back unless I have to.

"Merlin?'' he started. I ignored him and stared at the door longingly. I heard Kilgharrah trying to contact me so I opened my mind to him and shut out Arthur.

_Merlin?_

_Hello Kilgharrah_

_What has gone wrong young warlock?_

_...Nothing..._

_Do not lie to me!_

_It's fine. I've been pardoned_

_For what? _Kilgharrahs voice was dangerously low.

_It's fine. Leave it...STOP IT! _I yelled as he raked my memories.

_Young warlock this is not 'Fine' as you put it. I will have the Young King's hide for this!_ he exclaimed angrily

_NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE! I will deal with him. I will not lose you to him Kinsman. _

_Then you must tell me everyday of the Young Pendragon's progress. He must feel deeper remorse than this. If anything like this happens again I will not hesitate to kill him_

_Good. Leave us now please._

_Goodbye young warlock._

_Goodbye Kilgharrah_

**YAY! All done. With thanks to Jeff for raising my moral! *insert sappiness here***


	2. Chapter 2 Letters of Resignation

**ARTHUR**  
Merlin would never trust again, that was clear to me. The way he'd looked at me as I talked to him in the cell made me wish I was dead. I couldn't believe that Merlin could torture someone, yet still I let the man bring down the whip. When they'd dragged him in, all bewildered and with his hair messed up. The picture of innocence, we had no hard evidence that it was him, yet still I refused to listen. What hurt me most was the look in his eyes as he stared up at me during the flogging. At first there was pleading, then one emotion override everything as he hung there and screamed

Betrayal

He had screamed until his voice was too hoarse. Then he'd become indifferent and just managed to endure. I kept my face cold. I believed truly and utterly that he had hurt that maid. When I think about it now, I realize what a fool I had been. How could sweet, goofy, clumsy Merlin hurt anything? Yet his pleas had fallen on deaf ears. The truth was that I, like so many others, had jumped to conclusions. If we'd bothered to ask Gaius or the cook, then we'd have known that Merlin had nothing to do with it. We could have stopped this from happening. I still remember that first meeting after the whipping. Four months after

I had rushed down to the cells and glanced into my old friends cell. My heart skipped a beat. Merlin was huddled in a corner, his knees drawn tight to his chest. I could tell the guards had beaten him from the bruises that littered his body. His eyes had glazed over and a thin film of cobwebs had tangled into his over long hair. I blanched. I'd done this to him, my best friend. I felt like a monster. I pulled my courage together and approached him. I crouched down next to him. He either didn't notice or he ignored me. I tried putting a hand on his shoulder. He flinched and withdrew further into himself. Really? Was he that scared of me? Then I remembered what I'd done to him and sighed. I tried to sit next to him but his eyes flashed gold and I was forced away. Hold on! Merlin had magic? To be honest I didn't care. I just wanted my friend back. I decided to tell him the news

"Merlin? Your released." I said. He didn't even bother to face me. He scowled reminding me painfully of Morgana

"For something I didn't do. Thank. You. Arthur." he sneered. I winced. His tone suggested that he wanted nothing more than to yell and kick me. I had done this. I had turned my first true friend against me. Then I recognized Gwaine's footsteps as he barged in. He stepped on my foot, hard. Then he plonked down next to Merlin. To my great surprise Merlin didn't shove him away as I'd expected, he went limp and rested his head on Gwaine's shoulder. I scowled at this obvious display of preference. Gwaine glared at me and said

"Well, _sire_. If you had wanted his trust you would have made sure it was him before you _whipped him half to death!_'' spitefully. I flinched, Gwaine was the only one who had had to be restrained because he was sneaking down to see Merlin. Now I think of it, I can see I had no right whatsoever to feel jealous. I had caused this whole thing. I felt guilt hit me at full force. I wanted nothing more than to be able to curl up and cry for days. But kings can't do that. They have to be strong. So I helped Gwaine half carry half drag Merlin to Gaius' chambers.

We layed him on the bed and Gaius treated him. The state of his back made me feel sick, long angry slashes that had been kept open from four months with his back against the rough wall.

I asked for a moment with him and when we were alone I began to apologize but I could tell he wasn't listening, his eyes had glazed over once more and he seemed to be having a conversation inside his head, judging from the way he was mouthing words. Still I rambled on. I ended by saying that he would be back as my manservant in two weeks. I could tell he had heard this. Anger played plain as day across his features. What had I done? Really. With Gaius on his side he would be polishing my armor in no time. Really there is a limit to my sympathy. I would have no idea of the nightmares that plagued him unless I had not shouted at him a month later

I was rounding the corner after a particularly hard day when I saw Merlin laughing with Gwaine as he helped carry the bedsheets. I exploded

"MERLIN!" I roared. He span around to face me, face falling into the now familiar cold mask that he wore when ever he saw me.

"Yes sire?'' he asked, head bowed. The perfect servant. This made me even more angry. I wanted Merlin back. The old Merlin. Not this new perfect, cold one.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU ASK A NOBLE TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR CHORES!" I yelled. He cocked his head to the side

"_I didn't_." he muttered, avoiding my gaze. I hardly noticed Gwaine drawing his sword

"THEN _WHY_ IS HE CARRYING THOSE?'' I thundered. Merlin remained expressionless

"Those sheets are his own, sire." he said coldly. I growled

"Why can't you just be CHEERFUL FOR ONCE?'' I yelled. His face contorted into a sneer

"Do you know what I see in here at night _your majesty?_ I see you watching me getting whipped. You throwing me into jail with no proof. _YOU NOT CARING AS I SCREAMED_!'' he roared, eyes flashing, I was thrown back several meters and landed hard against the wall

"I _TRUSTED_ YOU! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY _FRIEND_!" he yelled. I got up and pressed him to the wall

"The Merlin that I knew would never talk to me like that." I growled. He smirked

"The Merlin you knew died when the first lash fell.'' he spat. I punched him, hard in the stomach. He doubled over howling. Gwaine pulled me off him and held his sword at my throat. He glared at me. Merlin staggered upright, his eyes flashed gold and the laundry was in the water. Gwaine let me go after receiving a look from Merlin. He sheathed his sword and started whispering to Merlin. He nodded after a while and started writing on two pieces of parchment that Merlin handed him. He strode over to me and shoved them into my hand

"What are these?'' I questioned. He shot me a look of pure loathing

"Letters of resignation. Have a nice life, Sire" he spat. My world crumbled around me.

**Chap 3 coming later tonight. Poor ol' Merlin. GO GWAINE! Next chap will be Merlin POV when he escapes. On a dragon.**


	3. Chapter 3 Looking For Merlin

Gwaine and Merlin rode out the next day, leaving with two big pieces of the kings heart. Arthur watched from the window as they saddled their horses. Merlin laughed at something Gwaine said and then looked up, meeting Arthur's eyes

_I shall see you again, my king_ said a small, very Merlin like voice in his head. Arthur broke eye contact. It hurt to much to see Merlin's cold eyes fix on him, pierce his very soul.

The castle wasn't the same without them. It was like someone had flicked a switch and the lights went out. No one laughed anymore when they saw each other. The knights of the round table were distant and rarely smiled. The kingdom was plunged into a deep sadness that seeped through the walls and penetrated the people's minds. It had gone on for a month when Arthur decided that enough was enough. Merlin was needed. Gwaine was needed. Arthur needed his brothers back. So he and the knights ( and Gwen of course) rode out in the morning of the beginning of spring.

"Where are we going Sire?" asked Leon carefully. Arthur shrugged and rode to the north. They carried on for two days when they finally heard something. They were camped in a clearing in the Forest of Asitir when they heard voices from the next clearing nearby

"No! Not that one! Father said that Thyme was green not purple...or was that lavender?" it was a young boy's voice. The knights and Gwen peeped through the trees to see a little girl of seven and a boy of nine fumbling around some herbs. They both wore cloaks of dark green and both had the druid symbol tattooed on their shoulders. The girl had raven hair and blue eyes and the boy also had raven hair but brown eyes. The girl carried a basket full of herbs and flowers, much like Gauis would carry... Gaius had passed on a few weeks after Merlin had left. What would Merlin say? No, focus Arthur! He reminded himself. The girl was no speaking

"But Kamir! Father said he needed this one too!" she said grumpily

"I'm the eldest. I say we should go through them in order!" the boy -Kamir-said, stamping his small foot. The girl smirked

"Yes, but I'm the best. So I say we should just do this!" she cried dramatically, her eyes flashing gold and herbs falling neatly into piles in her basket. The boy pouted

"Your such a Dollop head Luna!" he said grumpily. Arthur's brain froze as a man swept into the clearing and frowned

"Now Kamir! That's mean. Say sorry to your sister. Anyway, it's my insult!" he proclaimed. The boy stuck his tongue out but said

"Sorry Luna..." sorrowfully. Then a black panther with wings glided into the clearing

"Mother!" the children cried. The panther fluttered and transformed into a girl in a scarlet dress with raven curls and chocolate brown eyes. She smiled and crouched down to the children. She looked up at the cloaked man

"Come on Emrys!" she said sarcastically. The man laughed

"How many times! My name is Merlin!" he said. Arthur's eyes went wide

Merlin? A father? No...

But he could clearly see the man with his children. The mans hood fell down and the familiar face was visible once again. Merlin looked different. His hair was longer and more scruffy and his ears were sticking out a lot less. He smiled down at his family then put on a stern face

"Did you get the herbs?" he asked, mock serious. 'Luna' nodded and held out the basket

"Thank you." the woman remanded. Merlin rolled his eyes

"Thank you Lunette" he said. He ruffled Luna's hair and that was when Arthur saw the Druid symbol that had been cast into his palm. Merlin couldn't be a druid...It just wasn't possible! Then Gwaine came striding into the clearing and plopped down next to Merlin

" Hey Emrys!" he said. He looked to the woman

"My Lady Freya" he said charmingly. Merlin shot him 'The Look' that Gaius had taught him. Gwaine stuck his tongue out and opened his arms

"KIDS!" he yelled. They looked up, saw him and jumped on him

"UNCLE GWAINE!" they yelled happily. Merlin rolled his eyes and shook his put his arm around Freya and sighed

"What is it love?" she asked. He smiled

"Sometimes I just wish Arthur could be here to see this..." he sighed again. Arthur flinched, Merlin still believed in him? After everything he'd done. Then a black haired woman strolled into the clearing. Merlin didn't turn around

"Hi Morgana" he said casually. She grinned and sat down

"Morning Merlin, Freya. How are the kids?" she asked. Whoa. Morgana being nice again? Not possible, but here she was, being nice. Merlin smirked and snapped his fingers. With a flash of his eyes a picnic was set out before them. Merlin has magic. I'd never really accepted it. But now... I tried hard to stop the betrayal that welled up inside me...

Merlin has magic...

Merlin

Has

Magic

_**ME:** Dun dun duuuuuuun!_

_**MERLIN:** I wish that this chap came true...Ah Freya *I puke*_

_**ARTHUR:** So you want me to whip you?_

_**MERLIN:** NO! I mean er...No please!_

_**ARTHUR:** Okay._

_**COLD HEART FANS:** Awwww *looking annoyed and picks up torches and pitch forks* WE WANT WHUMP!_

_**ME:** Oh crap..._


End file.
